Isn’t it strange that the ones we love the most are the ones that hurt us the most? Or can cause the most pain? Our children, old lovers, our parents; they are the ones that have seen us at our most vulnerable and know our darkest moments of weakness.
Past experiences forever burned into our memories creeping in when we least expect them; they become a part of who we think we are.
The moment you pause and choose how you want to react to a difficult moment, you regain control of your world. Tie this in with keeping a steady flow of breath and you can master any moment, creating the perfect situation to evolve. Acknowledge the thought, appreciate it for reminding you how strong you are. Remind yourself that the thought is from an old experience and has no business being a part of your current moment. It has no bearing on who you choose to be in this moment and any moment going forward. It does not define you.
You are a fragile soul with a capacity to live, to love, and evolve. You can redefine who you are in any given moment. You are not what others think about you or say about you. You are not your parents or who they wanted you to be. You are not where you are from or what happened yesterday. None of that defines who you are in any given moment as you move forward.
Once we are able to see the attempts to cause pain as desperate cries for help, we can regain control of how we react. The attempts to cause pain no longer holding power over us.
We aren’t taught this and most of us are caught off guard, reeling in the experience. Sometimes we have to relearn, take a step back and remind ourselves the pain the other person is causing has nothing to do with us, otherwise we risk being trapped in our own mental hell, letting ourselves be overcome by the vibration of fury or shame, welling up in our throats and burning our cheeks, forever asking, ‘why did this happen to me….’.
We are raised with a survival mentality, chained to old perceptions, old stories of what our parents experienced, and the fears they instilled in us, but they do not have to apply to us. These past experiences and relationships often stir internal battles that wreak havoc on our nervous system through our automatic reactions. See them for what they are, someone else’s pain being projected onto you, and you instantly create an opportunity to evolve. Breathing through the experience creates time and space to react. In that time and space, you have changed the automatic response. Repetitively adapt your approach in this way, and you evolve, eventually feeling a natural sense of calm, in the center of any storm that presents itself, I promise you.